7:21 pm - Wednesday, Dec. 12, 2001
Song:
I went over to Kevins again today. Being with him makes me all tingly, even if we don't do anything major. i just love to lay there and feel the warmth of his cheast and the slight weight of his arms around my body and just feel perfect like that.
I love him more and more each day, And I suppose Adam loses me more and more each day. I keep looking for a time when it will be easy to break up with Adam, but it hasn't come. I'm so confused. We used to be that perfect couple who was so totally in love, but some where along the line, I stopped loving as much. I still love him, just not as much as I used to. Not as much as I love Kevin either. It's just such a wonderful feeling to be close to Kevin. It's really amazing.
It kind of scares me that I love him so much. I mean, I don't know, It's just strange. I think, i think I know, that he loves me. But you can never be sure with people. And for some reason i feel and element of distrust in there because he is two years older then I am. Its just somehting that makes me a bit uneasy sometimes. But It's not like he has any prior experiance, so I'm not worried about it
I've been told by alot of guys that they love me, I've only loved a few. All those guys told me that they hoped we could be together forever. Then they let me slip away. Which is what Adam is doing now. Letting me slip away. But unlike most guys he relizes this, he's fighting back.
Kevin origannaly didn't want to get involved with me beacuse I was dateing Adam, and he 'knew he would end up stealing me away and Adam would end up hateing him.' I'm not sure what made hm change his mind. If he would love to email me and tell me: [email protected]
Anyone could email me! I would really like that, it would kick ass.
Now back on topic, I really ike that Kevin doesn't look more then I few weeks into the future. He doesn't promise me forever. I love it when guys do. But he's not making promises he doesn't intend to keep, and I admire that.
I got a letter from the college I want to go to! Basically it was just information about the school and how much they would love for me to choose to go there. I guess I need to boost my grades a bit.Law school for me!!