3:38 pm - Thursday, Nov. 11, 2004
Song: The Shins - New Slang
�I know what you�ll say, �This won't last longer than the rest of the day�. But you�re wrong this time, You�re wrong.
Numb is the new deep, Done with the old me�
-John Mayer, �New Deep�
This time, well everything will be different. I swear. This time I won�t do the same old things. This time I�ll prove that I learned from my mistakes. Proof that I don�t have to be evil, that I don�t have to be wrong and twisted, that I truly can do the right thing. I�m not as bad as I seem. I�m not as bad as you think. I don�t mean to be so bad.
I can make the changes. I swear. I have already begun. You may not see this, but really I have. I don�t avoid the word boyfriend when I�m around new guys. I used to just so I didn�t ruin the chance for a crush or flirts. No longer.
I don�t try to keep up guys attentions. Even when I didn�t like them before, I was willing to flirt or simply stay mute to the situation in order to encourage them to keep up the �bask Megan in love� campaign. No longer.
I can do this. He means enough to me. I will do this for him. I will do this for me. I will do this to be better then I have been. It�s been years. I should be superior to who I was sophomore year. I should be better than that.
Finally I should prove it.