7:54 pm - Wednesday, Nov. 10, 2004
Song: Jason Mraz - Conversation With Myself
I am not remorseless. If that�s how it came across, then I am sorry. I�m guilty, hurting and so very apologetic. I�m slit your wrists and rip out your own heart sorry. I�m give up on my happiness if only you�ll say it has helped you heal sorry.
I did everything wrong this summer. I hate my relationship not because of him, but because of me. Because it�ll always have the evilness of how we came to be. I�d stab myself in the heart to keep him whole, but I can hardly handle what we have when we just love one another.
Don�t read this if I hurt you this summer: Sometimes I just want to go back and make everything all right with Chris and go back to that life. Not to say that I am not in love with Kevin. I am. I am more in love with Kevin than I have been with anyone else. It�s to say that I miss me and Chris.
I do not want to rehash things. I do not want to rehurt people. I do not want to hurt people.
I am so sorry. I�ll crawl to you feet and spill my tears or my blood or my life on the ground for you if only you�ll say it has healed you. If only it will fill all the cracks in your life and you�ll be whole again.
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