8:25 am - Tuesday, Nov. 09, 2004
Song: John Mayer - Wheel
I�m hurt. And every part of me knows I�m not to blame him. That wouldn�t be fair, that wouldn�t be right. So I�m waiting. For what I�m not certain. Just waiting. Waiting for the day he realizes he�ll never be able to give me what I want, and leaves me. Waiting for the day he gets fed up with my quick to bitch attitude and leaves me. Waiting for him to leave me. To crush me.
And still. It�s the last thing I�d expect from him.
Horizon or not, it is supposed to happen, is it not? Karma has to come around sooner of later. I can�t just live my life holding off on love because I know at some point my bad deeds need to fall back in place on top of me.
So Kevin will have to be the vehicle of that karma.
Some of us are on a bigger merry-go-round than others, but, for us all, we will one day swing back into every problem we created out of selfishness, or weakness, or desire. I don�t know where am in the spin, or how long we must swing before I return to that place, but it can�t be far off now.
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