From Blue To Black Fade In
8:42 pm - Friday, Nov. 05, 2004
Song: Nine Days - Wanna

We�re getting used to losing,
We�re starting to understand the life we lead is a failing one
Where everything ends and it�s justified
Nothing lasts forever,
They say
And this is supposed to comfort our young hearts.
This is supposed to lend us some great relief.
Oh well then,
What were we clinging for?
How silly we can be,
And we don�t even try
And we don�t even mean to
We didn�t even mean the pain or the love
They were just the spice from the bottle
The things we added to the recipe
We thought we were doing right
And now what are we left with:
We�re skinned knees
We�re bleeding on the sidewalk.
We are so angst, so hate, so hurt
We�re each evil in our own green little way
Nothing lasts forever, there is no exception
Follow your own drum, heart, path
Because sooner or later you see,
There is no one to live for
But you
And you are dying
You are falling, Flying, Tumbling, Landing, hard and so
Hard
We think the world revolves so around us
We break hearts and we cry our guilt and apology
We break hearts and we apologize for starving the deserts of rain or
Filling the oceans with salt
Our guilt, it�s all encompassing
Are we fucked or what
Aren�t we all just a little evil?
Or am I the only one?
The only one ready to admit the error of their ways.
See
It�s easy to do
It takes no pain or effort on your own part.
You can apologize to those who need fresh water for the oceans
And those who need the heat break for the deserts
Because you know, that these problems you caused,
Are their own.
See where you live, there�s a spring and a soft daily drizzle
Everything is a soft
Lush and green
You�re learning lessons, but oh
You got the better end of the deal, did you not?
Oh, but you fight off that love for this very reason
You slash and burn your lush lands.
He says to you:
What about everything you said? About wanting to be with me forever, about never being happier, about being in love?
So you call it all off.
You don�t want this to end
But you don�t want to have it for the wrong reasons.
You say, never mind, and he says:
�This isn�t the first time you�ve said these things, I don�t think it�ll be the last
�and it hurts like hell.�
He loves you so.
Do you really believe that to hurt another would absolve your guilt?
Do they not say two wrongs make no rights?
Do not turn down this love
This love who runs his hand so gentle across you hair
Who you walked along the beach with that night,
And you looked in love
And people thought you were married, so married, a year married
And you looked in love, because you were in love.
That soft little trip of bagels and lox, of pioneer museums, and cheese factories, of mini golf.
Or when you stood in the snow
Or when love made it too much not to kiss right then
Or that moment you never quite explained,
When you said those words
You�ve never been happier before in your life.
Freezing cold at a college football game, cheering, and cuddling to his warm chest.
Never this happy before
To be living so completely
You say your guilt is killing you, so you try to remove him
I say the guilt is too much to him, and try to remove him
I�m trying to save my own life
By removing the one who makes me most alive.

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