11:34 pm - Friday, Oct. 15, 2004
Song: Jason Mraz - No Stopping Us
Kevin,
Today I decided that you should run for president. Or I should, but you�re much smarter then I am, and you�re a man, so much more likely to get elected. Then you�d be president and I could be first lady. I always wanted to be first lady because, and Kaeli used this to conclude that I have strange life goals, if you�re first lady they put the gown you wear to the inaugural ball in the Smithsonian. Plus, I could be like the new Jackie Kennedy. The Smithsonian has a whole huge exhibit of her fashions. And the Smithsonian is just so cool. But see, you could be the attractive, young Kevin Cohen running for the presidency. Democratic, very fair ideas on civil rights, and he�s got that cute little wife. See and I could get pregnant while you were on the campaign trail, which would shoot us from adored couple to America�s most loved political couple yet. You�d be sure to get elected, and then we�d have little Kiwi and she�d be the most loved baby in America. Kiwi would become the most popular girls name in the country. Could we name her Kiwi Morgan?
We could all live in the white house, and every Christmas when they did Christmas in the white house, people would get to watch our baby growing up, and see how deeply in love we are. And foreign leaders would find Kiwi so adorable and get so close to our sweet little daughter that they would be encouraged to come to diplomatic decisions so that she could have a better world to grow up in, And so that their kids could as well. We could make America family oriented again. Make people love their home life, and steer away some from this corporate and money love. Ah we�d make the whole world happy.
You�ve got it all. You�d win Iowa for sure, which is of huge importance in the primaries. Plus you were born in California, you lived in Oregon, and you�ll have the state we move to so that you can teach and such. You�ll be Jewish, have a gay brother-in-law, married to a Christian girl (we�re going to have to go with the Christian side of my family, because otherwise you�ll lose the Christian vote) who helps you lead your life in a good honest way. Then you�ll take this cute couple who everyone sees as so in love, and announce to everyone that they�re excitedly beginning their family. Your approval rating will shot up from their usual 65% to 72%, but election officials will keep insisting that you�re too young and you�re going to lose to your more experience opponent. But you won�t, because we�ll represent everything the perfect American family should be. And I�ll go around and make speeches for you. We�ll have that wide array of appeal of being a poor boy and a middle class girl who worked hard to build a stable, successful life and marriage before bringing into the world the most beloved baby yet. We�ll always be doing cute things like taking her to the playground and going to her school recitals and everyone will be so enamored with us.
No one would be able to accuse you of not taking your job seriously, the way people do of Bush and his frequent vacations. I have no doubt that you would be a Clinton caliber president, but with better morals. You�ll get reelected with no trouble. Our economy will be booming and we�ll be happier then ever. It�ll be the most loved presidency since JFK, but we won�t have to deal with the assassinations.
What do you think?