8:06 am - Sunday, Sept. 19, 2004
Song: Trach Chapman - Fast Car
We're in the homestretch. The last few thigns I need stare at me and I mean to pack them, but oh god, if I can just make any excuse not to.
Before I say all this, I say: I am so excited for college.
I don't want to leave Kevin. Simple as that. I do not want a relationship with him that is so many hours and miles away. I love being with him, and I love him, but I don't know that I even want to mess with having another long distance relationship.
I don't want to leave home. I don't want to leave Michelle or Sylvia or Jula. I don't like that when I leave, any friendship that Chris and I are barely clinging to will begin it's quick evaporation.
I don't want to leave Portland, and I'll be so damn close I feel stupid and whiney for this.
Everything has been so fucked up lately, you'd think I want to get away. But instead I see that it is just another chance to be absent, to let people down.
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