10:45 am - Monday, Jun. 28, 2004
Song: "How Come" - D12
Most of life seems to be lived in the summer. When you make more mistakes and the heartbreaks shatter with more force. Where heat and a beating sun begin to make you feel invincible. Summer time makes the idea of death a foreign concept, because you�re living in the world of the movies, where you make all your own choices and own adventures, because no one is supervising, and every day is a weekend. See, in movies, the main and most loveable characters aren�t supposed to die. That only happens in the films you want to hate because they wrench you so thoroughly, like �My Girl�.
See, �Now and Then� and �The Sandlot� wouldn�t have been so easily loveable if someone had died. These are the correct interpretations of summer, where nothing truly bad is supposed to happen, and so you invent small and exciting crisis.
That�s all fine and good until something real and final happens during the summer. How are you supposed to step away from that and say, �Let�s continue to live in this world of humid, sweaty perfection�. Endings change the world around you and everything�s suddenly a different color. Endings are meant for the winter, so that when you sit there crying, you do it with the rhythm of raindrops on the roof.
To your ending, I am loving you. I wanted to type something more to you when I opened that page, but this is not the mode in which to do such things.
Summer endings are becoming more and more real as I grow older and I�m beginning to adjust to a world where things die. Where people I love die, where people my own age die, where your parents truly look grief stricken when they realize what almost happened to you, and where you suddenly have to face something harder then ever before: When you enter that world where you wonder if you�re supposed to carry a scar for life.
The days of summer are gone; this is life living with or without a band of raindrops to help you along. Suddenly the blanket of heat is suffocating, drowning, so if you need it, I�m extended the hand to assist you in swimming to the top.
previous : next