3:16 pm - Wednesday, Apr. 14, 2004
Song:
Where am I in all this. Where is that decision make decisive kind of person that needs to take this ones place, because this person is too alone all the time. Do you agree that we take everything as a hurt today, because I�m taking everything as a personal attack for the time being. I don�t know where this eighteen on the eighteenth is supposed to bring me.
My guess is no where, that I am seeking a change that shouldn�t be on it�s way and that there are more pressing matters to attend to than me for every person here. When I invited you, or didn�t invite you, it was with reason. I was hoping for the mix of all the people who truly touch me, with that gap of the people who hurt me, because they don�t belong here for me.
I�m getting this mix of excuses on just why three and a half weeks notice wasn�t long enough to take this miniscule, incredibly important to only me, occasion into consideration.
Is it angst and whine. Yes, but I�m growing out of it. That has got to be the case and the drastic improvement that comes from ending the little bits that you depend on other people.
I just want to turn eighteen and have people smile at me rather than all the empty chairs I�m preparing myself for.
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