5:48 pm - Sunday, Apr. 11, 2004
Song:
Easter means nothing to me. Last year I was with Chris, the year before in Maryland, and today reverting to the old ways of the yearly Easter party. Since I was a child I haven�t been to church on this day, with the exception of going in order to please Chris� inbreed guilt of religious duty.
It�s a holiday about Jesus, which just being in my family leaves me stuck a bit. In my own beliefs, or rather doubts and disbeliefs, it is hypocritical to celebrate this in anyway that includes anything more advanced than peeps and chocolate bunnies.
As a disbeliever, I think I�m riding the line of Hallmark Christian and Holiday only Jew. Unitarian.
Not sure why I�m writing this. It is not a diary, because I�ve been attacked for my beliefs before, my stances on issues, and now I may be digging a large hole for myself.
But I got an Easter basket and I ate lamb today and no one said anything about Jesus and I still felt guilty for being involved at all.
I wish, sometimes, though not usually, that I had that same kind of religious identity as Chris, but I live in religious non-identity, and maybe everything else is too conservative for me. I�m all about fighting the man and being this different thing that is the exact same because we all live in Portland, supporting Gay Marriage, and free choice and speech, and fighting with people, because fighting with your mind is the most powerful thing. This no longer has anything to do with religion, except, where is the one that I�m supposed to jump into and will they let me marry a Catholic.
See here, I�m saying, that I like that religion hasn�t swayed some of the beliefs I hold, because my beliefs lie not in religion. I celebrate me own.
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