3:52 pm - Wednesday, Nov. 12, 2003
Song:
"For the life of me
I can not remember
What made us think that we were wise and we never compromise
For the life of me
I can not believe we'd ever die
For these sins
We were merely freshmen" - Verve Pipe, The Freshman
Why is that sometimes, stupidly, that relationship can still hurt me? That deep down in there, I'm finding holes in my knowledge from before, and despretely want to patch them with something bright pink and bubble gum scented. Something that make it better, even when what I'm seeking doesn't make anything better, it only creates temporary patches so I can curl up into myself and try to pretend nothign ever needed fixing in the first place.
Maybe I need to hand everyone in the world a tiny pen kinfe and we can all cut out the seals we've created and let our air out. There's an air pressure in us all high above the recomended level and if we don't start popping a few balloons or creating a few leaks, we're all going to end up blowing out at high speeds at the perfect time to slam into something solid. The kind of slam that no one counts on you to walk away from.
Right now, I've been walking away for years only to realize I'm on the worlds biggest treadmill.
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