4:23 pm - Wednesday, Nov. 12, 2003
Song:
and so maybe i haven't been the best lately, but that doesn't mean that i'm not trying as hard, and maybe sometime soon, i'll be as great and as perfect as i used to be. this constant fighting is tearing away at me because i don't want it to happen, and i don't understand why it is. i'm still trying to be the best boyfriend i can, and yet i say things that hurt you, that make you question your self image, your worth to me as a girlfriend, and my image of you physically and emotionally. i don't mean to. i'm still trying baby... i love you.
If he left me this message February 1st of this year, why do I feel like I'm still making him feel this way. Still making him feel he's less than perfect, less than ideal, less than I need.
I stress him out, I ask for too much, I get jealous too easily, I always unbalance our lives, and yet he stays by my side, hold my hand, kisses my forhead, and then lets me make him feel like he was the problem all along.
And he says as often as I do that he'd like to be with me forever.
And I feel so bad for him, that I should let him go so that I save him, with is a very silly notion. That sounds like a terrific plan.
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