10:07 am - Friday, Jul. 18, 2003
Song:
Back from Maryland for the moment. For just a moment, Rahnia is here. And then, then we all have to say goodbye over again. And there�s nothing I can say, nothing I can do about it. I�m supposed to hug and smile and say everything�s all right and I hope she has fun and I�ll miss you and I hope she misses me too.
I hate going through this every few months. It�s painful. I�m sure it is for her too. I�m sure.
I want college in California. She wants East Coast. I want to live in Seattle, but New York at one point. She couldn�t live in Seattle.
It feels like we�ll never again be in the same place. That I�ll just always be away from her. And always missing her. And when ask who my best friend is, I keep saying her, and yet, I don�t really know. Because she has other�s to replace me with, right. And there�s college and life after and I just don�t know what to do anymore. She�s all ready grown six years in the two months we�ve been separated.
All these stupid things come to me. Wonder if she�ll be there for my graduation, wedding, child (if I ever do accidentally get pregnant) and I don�t know the answer. Not that I really know that answer for anyone. But I liked back when I thought I did.
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