9:09 am - Monday, Jul. 21, 2003
Song: Don't Wanna Try - Frankie J
Not sad and upset. Been keeping busy. Always going to smile. Always got to keep going. And yet�
I feel as if something is pining me here. Something is keeping me from wanting to leave. From wanting my trip to Seattle, from wanting my trip to San Francisco. I look at the pictures of me, consider just how fat I am, and then just want to pout. Or maybe that�s not it.
Maybe I just have nothing to say, and all I know how to do is complain. Berate myself and feel sorry for myself to the point where you close this page half way through because you�re fucking sick of my emo whiny ways. And you know what, that�s fair. Completely fair.
Can�t please everyone, anyone, anything. Wah, boo fucking hoo. Got to stop this constant whine.
Been going to the river and lakes on various days, and enjoying the hell out of it. Hot air, cold water, skinny dipping, eating, driving, singing loudly, searching for water, boating. It�s like every fantasy I have about summer when sitting through the last week of Biology. I can�t forget to bask in this. I can�t whine through this. It�s time to enjoy the exercise, the social aspects, the share the care the love, the clich�. And stop wondering what others are thinking.
If I can just succeed in this, then I won�t have anymore whiny entries to write.
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