11:38 am - Thursday, Jan. 30, 2003
Song:
Starting the day off right. We pulled up to my school and I asked if I really had to go. After letting my mom know what classes I had, I get to leave. She drove me home.
Then ruining that joy.
I think that Chris and I just had our worst fight yet. He yelled at me. Not something he does, so when it happens, my heart just falls. I know I�m pushing too hard. I know I�ve gone too far.
I just couldn�t take the thought. I couldn�t take that I was hurting him. Not that. I didn�t like what he said. If I make him feel bad, then I shouldn�t be with him, because I love him more than life itself and how dare I do anything to him to make him feel less than wonderful.
I just don�t know what�s been with me lately. I know he�s had the shortest end of my attention lately. And I just blow up at him sometimes, and then cry because of it. I�m a mess that I blame on the pill because it all started at the same time.
I need a rest day, and so I am here.
I wish I never pushed so hard though.