9:28 pm - Friday, Jan. 03, 2003
Song: These Days - O Town
�Gotta use this lonely time
To change the picture in my frame of mind
Outside the window there�s a sunny day
I wanna feel it on my face�
Nine days. Is that all I may have left with her. That doesn�t seem right, or fair. How can you cover everything in nine days?
Everything feels like it�s coming with no forewarning. When did this all happen and why is it blowing up in my face so quickly? I�d heard nothing and now she�s nearly moved there. How do I handle this?
Feel lucky I have Chris? Wait he�s 200 miles away. Feel glad I have familiarity? Wait, that�s what�s driving me out of my mind.
No I�m not glad, I�m sad. Not good, but bad. Trying to find the words that put all into perspective, but no such things exist. There�s a world out there that I�m never going to see, I�m going to end up George Bailey. Stuck in a town always dreamed of leaving. Kids and married and never getting out. But George had friends, No man is a failure who has friends. I�m losing mine. They�re doing what I needed. I�m die here, and that�s the way it�s got to be. And I�ll do it alone, because I want her to do what makes her happy, and a place where she can write, well that takes the cake.
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