I Shouldn't Be So Willing To Give Up
7:52 pm - Tuesday, Dec. 03, 2002
Song:

�I'm getting over getting used to,
And after all that I put you through now I see I'm not the only one.
I never thought it'd ever come to,
This in fact was never what you wanted from me or how you meant it to be.�

Someone tell me what is so wrong with me, or am I correct in a way. It seemed all right, and now I step back and wonder if it was.

This is the first time I�ve thought rationally, that yes, I can live without him if need be. And not feared the need be, though I�m almost certain it may be upon us. Why am I so doubtful, and so calmly so, about the future of our relationship?

Maybe it�s only because I haven�t a clue what his newest problem with me is, but there always seems to be one. Maybe that�s why I�m willing to step away. Because I�m sick of feeling like I need to watch myself with him. Because it changed and now I feel he�s dumping every thought against me he�s ever had on my head and asking me to change it all.

Can�t do darling, you�re not clear with your needs. I need to be allowed to lose myself a bit.

I�ve always been one to give up great loves.

�What's the difference of never knowing at all?
When every step I take is always too small.
Maybe it's just something I can't admit but lately,
I feel like I don't give a shit.�


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