6:58 am - Wednesday, Oct. 16, 2002
Song:
I like the feeling I get when I lay on that couch, on my back. I put my knees up, slightly part my legs. I can almost feel his hand there, on the inside of my leg, he always massages softly the part of my body his hand is on, right before he pushes himself inside of me. It makes it all feel just right.
I�m dieing from this distancing after so long with him. I�m not getting kisses, or sex, or hugs. Not like he can give them.
I love him, really endlessly love him, and yet, there�s always this huge gap to contend with. I don�t know how to fix it. Yet. I beg for him to try to move, do what he can, but I do it silently so as not to push him. Pushing him could be dangerous; I�m so scared of pushing him away from me.
But that�s hardly possible with the way he loves me, right?
I�m confused and horny and alone, and I�m hating it.
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