7:25 pm - Monday, Oct. 14, 2002
Song:
Where's the passion and the undying need for this writing tool.
I'm sorry to say my passion for such things was drained this weekend. I had a boy, the boy, the sweetest boy to grace my life.
He deserved all the passion and undying need. He's that perfect one. We've all encountered something of the sort. And if not yet, soon. Very soon. I hope.
I had a weekend smattered with so many joys and falls, perfect boy arms, and little moments.
Thursday night the girl dearest to me, on so many levels, spent the night. I know not everything is all right, I know things are not solved. I know I am empty of ways to approach her. I almost want to tell her I�m sorry, and ask if we can forget. It�s the past, and I love the time with her. But I�ve lived here for a while; I know how things really work. Not like that. But we had fun, I had fun at least. We talked about other things. She makes me happy.
Then Chris came to me in the morning, waking me at 6 thirty am, and talking to me for long moments as I cleared my mind of exhaustion. We waited long whiles through the morning for Kelsi to arrive. She did, and that�s what brings more joy. Then I had hot cider and they had other coffee house drinks, before we walked to our bus stop.
Nearly two hours later our bus graced dear Sauvie Island. We made up the rest of that hour walking to big road to the pumpkin patch. I felt so child-like there. We got to search through the corn maize, making sure to pass every numbered check point, avoid bees, scare each other in the hay maze, and search through the pumpkin patch.
Then we all, minus my brother who had come along to the pumpkin patch, went to Crania�s; via a cab we had to call out to the island. It was then Thai food for dinner and delicious �Clueless� and �Big Trouble� as the evening�s movies.
Awaken the next morning to laziness, the knowledge that I both humped Chris� leg and molested his penis in my sleep and no real plan for the day. Kelsi left first, destined for the college fair. Rahnia, Chris and I were left. Later we would motivate, and later we would see �Tuck Everlasting�. He fell of the dance dance revolution wagon in the theater arcade.
That night he spent at my house. The next day he and I, with my brother and father, went fishing. We didn�t catch a thing.
Next was home for Masters Inc., getting caught maiking out (oh, btu it was so much more, the whole weekend was so much more, and sex four times) and finnaly bed before my schoool and his depature.
I hate having him gone. He makes me feel so good. But this shortend entry of the events must be cut off because I�m still on that waterpolo team (first game Wednesday, wish me luck) and I�m sure he can elaborate for me.
I�m so very in love.
And I still hate that I hurt my best friend and don�t know how to fix it.