9:45 pm - Friday, Oct. 04, 2002
Song:
I�ve grown accustomed to its chalky taste. I drink the pink and let it coat everything, including my spit, on the way down. If it helps ease the pain that shoots through my lower stomach, then it�s worth it.
I drink it straight from the bottle. I�ve learned the correct bottle tips and gulps that ease into me the perfect amount of stomach medication.
I�ll O.D. on Pepto-Bismol and then they�ll all sit back and stare and my Barbie pink lips and wonder just what went wrong.
I ate too much. Or maybe it was too much sugar, but I�m not liking the way my body refuses food once a week.
I�m sixteen, but I don�t have an eating disorder. I eat when I�m hungry and I hate to throw up. So where the hell is this coming from. I don�t think that�s a way to lose weight, that�s why I�m on a sport.
I�m sixteen.
The problem lies there, says the doctor. Hormonal imbalance, and do you want medication?.
My mom despises the medical profession, and I adapt her cynicism as I grow taller and relate more to the woman I stand almost even with. Reminds me she�s �tall for a woman�
Hormones are all over the place. That�s why a boy who I love makes me cry and angry. Because he�s perfect to me, and that�s horrible and wonderful at the same time.