11:32 pm - Friday, Sept. 20, 2002
Song:
I�ve lost eight pounds since this started. My stomachs adamant refusal to accept food. I have to have the exact amount of food, or my body punishes me. Too little and I ache for the day, too much and I puke... or worse.
I�m sure Chris is used to my having to go suddenly. And tears. Its like forced bulimia, and I�m not happy about it in the least.
Why don�t you go to a doctor? I�ve contemplated it. But then I think about the doctor... I despise them. They never listen; they never seem to know what they�re talking about. They take forever.
But there�s something that tells me that none of this feeling is right.
And currently I don�t even have Chris to cry to.
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