9:41 pm - Thursday, Sept. 19, 2002
Song:
My eyes burn from combination computer screen and chlorine infusion. I�m forgetting and remembering. Something enjoyable about that really.
I�m dreaming of cute Asian boys, and remembering how I despise broken English sometimes. Not that I don�t like the people, that my brain isn�t good enough to process regular English.
I don�t tell stories now. And I don�t keep and update on my life, because right now it�s all the same: History, Art (I fell asleep today), English, Math, scrounge for lunch money, Spanish, Photo, Biology, Home, Water polo, Phone with Chris, Sleep and cry for him.
I�m living it day after day. It�s a stream swirling around me, and I feel like I�m always missing something. Maybe if I�d been there then, I�d understand, but I�m never there, wrong place never at the right time.
Fridays break it up. Weekends come. Friday nights mean football games, movies and various sleepovers.
This week collage party.
It sounds dumb, but it strips all the stress from me. Lets me set away homework and laugh.
I�m sick of crying. I�m sick of my muscles hurting. I�m sick of not understanding.
I want him to love me, my body to adjust and my homework to do itself.
Until then I�ll wash myself in Lifehouse and rinse cycle Jimmy Eat World until I�m ready to face it all again.
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