11:11 pm - Saturday, Jul. 20, 2002
Song:
I'm whiney and bitchy and these are the resons I feel Chris should be home right now... but is he? (the correct answer would be: no)
Being the talentless, empty headed girl that I am, I can find no other way to entertain myself other then pounding away at my keyboard in former Megan fashion.
I've forgotten what it felt like to need DiaryLand. It is now just a waste of my time where I empty my airy thoughts and shallow feelings and induldge myself in the stories of others lives far more interesting then my own.
My best friend is no longer dateing my ex, I'm not in school (so therefore, I'm not as depressed) and my boyfriend and i don't fight, that and we're sticking together.
What have I to share that won't seem the meaningless dribble or highly dramatic woes that have pieced this diary into what is neatly archived here today?
I'm in a bitchy mood. I had to calm myself. I went out front and danced around in my front yard, ignoring what people driving past or stareing out thier front windows might think and just danced in the dark yard. When I got too dizzy to spin and too breathless to leap I collapsed on to the lawn next to my resting kitty, petting her softly.
It's times like those that i know how i'm sitting is perfect and the lighting is just right and my euphoria is well founded... it's times like those I feel gorgous as Chris tells me I am. Pretty and desireable, cute... wanted...
I want to feel wanted even further... but Chris still isn't home. I'm about ready to just say "fiuck it" and head off to bed, for tomorrow morning I meet my loves mother. I'm so scared, but I'm a strong girl, and she's smaller then I. I could take her.
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