12:30 pm - Monday, May. 27, 2002
Song:
I woke up holding my teddy bear, nestling my face in it's shoulder. A reminder of how much I despise sleeping alone, and again how far away Chris is.
I made the mistake of reading my freshmen year journal last night. I was reminded of how in love with Adam I really was.
My view has been clouded over the past few months, and I forgot alot of what was there in our relationship. And I remember alot more of the pain.
I also realized what sparked me to start writting. I began this freshmen year diary on September 11, 2000 and it took me more then a year (until November 2001) to fill. The most frequent writting was right after September 11, 2001. I had some many thoughts and feelings about that, I didn't know what to do, so I wrote. After that I needed the comfort writting gave me.
I feel bad because I haven't written in my real journal since April 5th. I don't know. I started this online journal because I had alot going on and no one to talk to and no real journal. And it was through this that I met Chris.
I think today is my chance to reflect over the past months, in writting.
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