11:52 pm - Sunday, Apr. 14, 2002
Song:
I'm cold as all hell... And i don't know what to do about it... i have the blankets and the heat on and I am still shking with cold, which makes this really really hard to type...
I have been bitched at a few times already for closing my diary... and I'm sorry... but as I told rahnia, I don't keepa diary for your entertainment but rather my sanity... i'd love to keep it open...
I just don't want to as I am uncomfortable with Adam reading it.. he said there's not much i can do avout i because it's online...
I think Chris is the only one who knows to what sheer multitude I edited this diary when i gave the URL out for the first time... now there are so many secrets i'm holding... it is no long a diary...
"This is what she says gets her through it: "If I don't let myself by happy now then when? If not now, when?" -For Me This Is Heaven by Jimmy Eat World
This is my way through... what keeps me holding on... i like life... and I don't want irrationality to take that away from me...
But then i don't want to cut my life away from them... so i knwo you are reading this... because once again... the locked becomes unlocked...
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