1:13 am - Friday, Jul. 09, 2004
Song: Transplants - Diamonds And Guns
Sitting on the back porch and staring at the stars. Was I letting people down at that very moment? I felt like perhaps yes, but I also wasn�t sure of that world I momentarily stood in, and am now reconsidering. What did it earn me? How did it set me back?
People I�ve missed so much are drawing into touching distance. My heart hurts, because everyone I love puts distance between us sooner or later. Because most of them live so far, so damn far away, and those that are near, they pull away as the time comes for them to live new lives, and I�m still living this one here. Some like Chris sit on the merry-go-rounds of my life, and pull real close then away and real close and away. So sweet for a moment, so hard for all the others.
And now I�m wanting and needing and hurting for something solid and warm. Something that I can lay my head on each and every night, something that will hold me through all the hard times and will kiss me on the forehead, or give me a hug. I need something that doesn�t insist on changing its location in my life each day.
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