9:56 pm - Wednesday, Sept. 17, 2003
Song:
Let�s see, and I�ll make this really easy for you, because ever since I said no one cared, they decided to, which is, of course the way with people. It�s as usual as my use of commas.
It was a fight between Chris and I, and at some point he insisted I made him happy, and at some point he also said he didn�t have to put up with what I put him through. That line is what killed me, right there.
How can I make him happy, and make him miserable? It isn�t correct pronunciation of the words. I�m sure the relationship dictionary out there says no double statements, no opposites, no doing that. No, not if you�re the guy.
That�s when the bawling started. And he wasn�t the only reason behind it. There were a million reasons behind it.
It was the time my friends said they hated me in 7th grade. It was when Sylvia said she was scared of me. It�s when Rahnia said I was bipolar. It was when Adam called me a whore. When my dad called me a bitch. When my brother said he didn�t want anyone knowing I was his sister. When my doctor called me fat. When Kelsi said she didn�t want to deal with me right then. When Rahnia said she didn�t believe me when I said Adam pressured me for sex. When Adam said I was a drama queen, even as he called me every night crying. When Michelle finds someone cooler and stops talking to me.
I was crying for all those things. All those things I took to hard, remembered for too long and read into too far. I had to cry for everything that ever hurt me, because right then I was all black and dead. And I could have been for a long time. But that list above is short, and a lot has been blocked out and re-written by my mind.
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