6:53 pm - Sunday, Apr. 21, 2002
Song:
I�m sitting in a theater; writing on my lap and listening to Kayley explain Cabaret to Tara. I�ve never seen this before. I had no idea that Laurel would be coming and I�m not sure if I can upset or not. The stage is so interesting, and we�re front row. There are mostly elderly couples here. Something about being in a theatre limits conversation. All anyone can talk about is the play and their seats.
�What did you ask for the best seats in the house?�
�No, I just said, �what do you have left��
�I�m not sure it can be as good as the movie.�
�Not hardly.�
�I say I must question such close a view�
�Question?
�How can it be good so up close?�
There are small round tables surrounding the stage. Each one draped with a red tablecloth, an old fashioned telephone rests on each.
�Nobody�s at those tables.�
�I�m sure you could fit more people in that way.�
�It might be for the play.�
�I�m sure, I�m sure that�s part of it.�
These are conversations that nobody will ever remember besides me.
�The whole band is dressed in drag.�
It�s too cold in here for how small it is and my body can�t process the proportions of the theater correctly. And I�m not sure that made much sense. People walk past at odd rates, a speed of walk I�m not used to. It blocks my light for short moments, blurring my already messy words. Tara wants to read what I wrote.
I can�t help focusing on this mans head. Something about the pure sheen it reflects makes baldness seem almost beautiful. I�m thinking of Bobby. The hottest punk guy just walked past me. Reminds me of SLC Punk. The play is starting. I don�t like the director�s hair. He has a Texan tie. Dimness is forcing my attention to the stage.
It�s intermission and people keep asking me what I�m writing. �Anything and everything,� I tell them. They just don�t get this. I�m a lot like Sally in Cabaret. Partly I�m just like her; partly I want to be like her. Charming and mysterious. Her relationship with Clifford�s reminds me of mine and Bobby�s in some aspects. I tell him we�ll fall completely in love, and he smiles, laughs, shakes his head. He then agrees we should marry. I promised I would always interest him or in the least entertain him. He said her didn�t doubt it.