5:16 pm - Monday, Jan. 07, 2002
Song:
I used to think that if you removed somehting from a relastionship, or just allowed it to be present very little, it would make that thing all the better. I didn't realize then how much damage removing a positive thing from a relastionship could be. All I thought was, this will make it really special, not relizeing how that thing made the relastionship special.
Kevin thinks thatif we spend less time together, the time we do spend together will be better. I disagree. I see it as one of us will be unhappy with the ammount of time, and It'll lead to something bad. I hope he still loves me.
He seems distant. I've been trying to figure ut if he's pulling away, or if it's just school and life busyness. I can only pray it's the latter.
I love him so very much. Just talking to him for ten minutes can make me smile the rest of the day. I had 6th period with him, and I could hardly fight how happy I was in 7th.
Tara tells me she thinks everything is just wonderful and she's glad to see me happy. She says that when I was with Adam I seemed sad all the time.
I relized something important last night. As much as I love Kevin and as hurt as I would be to lose him, my world wouldn't crash down. I haven't built my confidence on him. He's just a Part of my tower, not the base of it. I feel like I can finnaly stop worrying about what is going to come of our relastionship, because no matter what it is, my world will not shatter apart. i think i may just be getting things together.
Kevi, If you get around to reading this. i love you very much. I'm sorry about last night, I've been super hormonal lately, and I'm sorry to say that's soon going to get worse. But whatever. I really am ready to put complete trust in you, especially after how you handled things last night. I hope you can begain to put your trust in me throughly. I know you must have at least a little fear you're going to get hurt here. -Meggie-
I think i can do it this time. I'm fighting darkness SO well. I'm proud. Damn, i have alot of homework.