10:08 am - Sunday, May. 12, 2002
Song:
Last night I had my first experiance with a drug (no, I don't really coun't alcohol as a drug.)I smoked pot with Nell. The following I wrote on a piece of paper while semi-high.
Was hungry, hungry, hungry so we walked to the store for food. When I walk it feels as if I'm walking on a treadmill because the ground is moving towrads me and makes me walk faster. Nell tols me I keep walking faster and faster, I had to keep up with the world.
I do odd things, or see strange things and then I think "Am I doing this because I'm high?" and then I think "If I was high, I wouldn't be questioning this" but the wired stuff doesn't stop.
I can't look at things without turning my head towards them.
I just said to Nell "Do me love me more for that?"
I don't think pot is the drug for me. I want soemthing that makes me feel like I am doing somthing beyond my control, that I am someone differant and that I am doing things while feeling like my regular self watching drug self do stuff regular self would never do. Pot makes me feel like a heavy lazy me.
Extreme sleepyness.
After this we went to bed, even though it was only ten thirty or soemthing close to that. The last thing I remember before falling asleep is listening to Bittersweet Symphony.
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