3:27 pm - Saturday, Dec. 15, 2001
Song:
EMAIL FROM KEVIN:
i think maybe we need to back off for a while. i hate to do this by email but if i dont do it now i dont know when. its not that i dont love you because i do. i love you deeply. i read that diaryland thing and i think that if its come to a point where you have to tell seth your going to hurt me so that he doesnt, then maybe its gone too far. i love being with you, and i want to be with you more, but i dont think its a good idea until your at a point with Adam where you dont have to lie, and where he'll at least believe you to the point where he doest follow you. this is kind of why i didnt want to get involved in the first place, but it feels so right to be with you. the fact is, its wrong, at least for now it is. i really really want to be with you, but i dont think its gonna be good for anybody if it goes any further. im not saying i dont want to kick it with you anymore, because i do, but i dont think that 4 days a week is a good idea. i think you need to spend some time with seth and figure out whats happening and what you both want to happen. i love you and i'll talk to you tomorrow, but please dont take this the wrong way.
MY RESPONSE:
Do you relize how much this letter hurt me? I guess you do by now. I love you very much, but maybe you are correct that we should back off, if you want the chance though, your opertunity is at hand, Know what may happen if you don't take it, and what may happen if you don't apoligize for saying it in this way. There is one part of this I have a question about. Is it if you didn't tell me in email, you wouldn't have the nerve to tell me at all?
Tell me!!!
Megan
HIS RESPONSE:
i love you and im sorry i had to say it in this way, but if i didnt i dont know when the right time would have been, school is hardly the right place to do that so i guess my next choice would have been saturday, but that might have ruined the day. its just that i was laying here thinking about it and i decided, no, i cant wait until school or saturday, i have to say it now while its fresh on my head and email was the only way to do it. i want to be with you more than anything, and i still think we should be together, but neither of us deserve to have somebody following us around, and i dont think either of us need that. i know i dont. its 5:17 and i just woke up, i still feel pretty crappy, but i think some rest did me a lot of good. i hope i can talk to you later tonight, and i really hope you come over tomorrow.
Wow, just when things begain to be put together they fall apart. read on for an email ebtween my friend Janelle and Me-
ME:my life sits here and falls like a thousand pieces of shatterd glass
HER: show me where the glue is. your life can be put back together.
I thought this was just SO sweet. She is such a great friend to me. I have been kind of negligent to our friendship, which I regret, but maybe I can fix it. Maybe things will fall back into place.
Adam tried to get back together with me yesterday, but I didn't agree to his conditions, of me basically not being friends with Kevin at all anymore. i can behave myself, but can't not be friends with him, because the truth is I do love him, but things need to be worked out.
Plus Kevin got grounded, due to a bad grade on his midterm, and his mom blamed me because he spends so much time with me. Grr.. I'm getting an A in that class and I have the exact same class as he does. Adam is in there too.
I have to go, my brother is such an ass...
Megan