3:05 pm - Wednesday, Sept. 01, 2004
Song: Jason Mraz - No Doubling Back
I'm scared. But aren't we all on any given day. Don't we each carry a fear with us. Why do I think mine are worth noting?
I keep trying and pulling and streatching and I think I know what I want and then I don't. I just want simple things and make simple decisions that take it all out of me.
See, me, I want love. I want love I can sleep in and eat in and breathe in. I want all the time love. Love that will be there in ten minutes. Love that will never underestimate you. Love that doesn't go even a day without telling you you're beautiful.
And see, I've got that love. But sometimes, that's just not good enough. I love deeply this love, but I would much perfer to take this love and siphon it. Then I would pour it into a different, more familiar shell. And then I could stop doubting. And I could stop being scared. Because no one has told me to live for me. And so I must be doing this wrong.