10:39 am - Monday, Jun. 07, 2004
Song:
Things have changed since freshman year. And that�s the statement of the month for so many. And it�s true for so many. But I�ve been keeping this diary since a few months into sophomore year, and even looking back I can see the difference.
It seems that at one point there were ants crawling under my skin and I didn�t know what to do with myself, and that feeling has been slowly subsiding as the months and years went by. I�ve solved so much, removed so much, and added so much.
I�m satisfied with things, but I�m not going to pretend I�ve grown out of wanting to break things and create that word fueling drama. No, that�s wrong. I don�t adore drama, not as it would seem sometimes. I just want to feel as if things are happening, as if I am happening.
I want to rolling around and shooting and changing and I�m not, and this is my own doing. I actually feel as if I�m jumping from one circle to the next and they are surprisingly similar, they�ve just been upgraded.
I started high school with a boyfriend, a best friend, a friend far away, an uncertainty about myself, and a perfect little life plan.
I ended high school with a boyfriend, a best friend far away, an underlying certainty that I could have anything I wanted if I was willing to work for it, and no clue what I was going to do with my life.