8:46 am - Saturday, May. 15, 2004
Song:
Last night was lots of fun. And it was fun where I�m surprised to see that I got into, that I even went to.
I went to Queer Movie Night at Amanda�s house, after going back and forth on whether to go at all, who would be there who would want to talk to me, what I thought I was doing going to events so far outside my tiny group of friends (even f I did go with Kai). I know for sure that I would not have gone if Kai hadn�t.
After Hedwig, which I loved, Amanda asked if we were going to go to Escape with them. Which is a fine question for everyone else. But as it is, I�m never out all that late (or sometimes at all) unless I�m hanging out with Kenzie, and those circumstances are really based aground the fact that I have to drive him home in Troutdale and then back into Portland. Ahem.. Back to the tale. I had a really great time talking to Brent before the movie, so I said that I�d go so that we could hang out more. Brent�s one of the people that, though there�s a week left in senior year, I would really like to get to know better. You know, along with Amanda, Kelsi, Nadia etc.. etc..
So I went. And the whole time I drove there, I couldn�t help but think how out of character it was, because quite truthfully and pathetically, I tend not to go out all that late so that I can just go to sleep, and so that I can talk to Chris. I had much fun, very much fun. I see things that I want in it. I want to go places, I want to have fun and I like being in the big groups.
At the same time though, I see that my friends are very much unlike that. They�ve never shown any intrest in dancing, or really going out, We go places, we have fun, but this is the first time I�ve been home after midnight in months. And quite truthfully, since I never have any curfew, that�s simply pathetic. Kinda the story of high school for me.
And now I desire to leave more strongly than I did at the beginning of this entry.