4:45 pm - Thursday, Oct. 30, 2003
Song:
Maybe I'm wrong here, and I'm just pretending to be interested. I have no desire to write. Anywhere or at all. My journals all sit stagnent. Even my poetry notebooks are shoved into my locker, because I'll doubtfully need them at home.
Here's what I'm needing. I'm needing to be cut a little slack from everyone. I know you're all going to say, hey we need slack too. You're right. I declare this national cut people some clack week.
I need people to understand that words aren't going to come to me right now, and I'm going to be a little more annoyed than useual.
Do know that since my week at Outdoor school, I've had a multitude of tests, speeches, homework and make up homework, on top of plans. Know that since I've returned, I've spent all my money on my photography materials, for something I'm growing more and more discouraged with. Know that since my return I passed CIM, recived my SAT scores and met with my mentees. Know in this past week I sent in my Early Action application, and essay, to University Of San Francisco, I gave blood, I sat waiting for the kids I was supposed to tutor in Biology just to have them not show up, I finished my geology projects finnaly, and tonight I'm volunteering for MADD.
So, you know who you are, and you haven't had any patience. You haven't even tried to understand. And you know it. And I'm sorry for being negligent, and I'm sorry for blaming you for everything, even those things obviously your fault. I'm apologizing first as always, and by first, I mean I'll be the only one to ever say sorry.
Maybe I'll come back here again, because I think I might again have a lot to say.
I'll be hindered again, by lack of time to say it.
And strongly by lack of motivation.
I need some cheerleaders, because I like the verbal support to get my ass in gear.
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