3:42 pm - Monday, Aug. 11, 2003
Song:
I wish I was that girl, so totally hilarious and cute and fun and every other adjective ever used by anyone to tell me something I don�t believe about myself. I wish I was that dictionary of the perfect girl for everyone, because the only point of perfection is to be that for everyone, not just one.
I wish someone wanted to be me. Not just like me, but me. I wish I appealed. Or maybe that�s asking a too much. Maybe I wish someone wanted to be like me, but not be me, because unique isn�t I, and why should we magnify it.
I bet, that if you copied me entirely. Changed your hair and your clothes, your way of talk and write, the hold of your legs, the curve of your breasts, or the tone of your voice or the crude of your humor; if you changed all of yours to match all of mine, people would accuse me of trying to be you. When you�re trying to be me, and I�m trying to be me, and we�re all trying to be me, when I don�t even want to be me.
I want o be the girl that Chris described as having unnaturally colored skin. I want to be the girl who�s belt perfectly matches her purse in perfect tan just a few shades darker then her perfect tan pants and her perfect tan shoes and her bright white t next to her perfect tan skin and holding her perfect tan iced latte. Name brand latte.
And those miles of bleached out blonde hair and jagged ends that cost $100 to look split.
So make me a little book of everything you think I am, and everything I wish I was, and everything you think you are and everything everyone else thinks you are, and you�ll have it there the one I think I should be, and the bitchy.
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