4:24 pm - Thursday, Jan. 02, 2003
Song:
Two hours at the doctor�s office. Finding out you have a UTI and the flu. Getting medication and instructions to come back in ten days. Being threatened with a pelvic exam because you�re going back for birth control pills.
She asked if I used condoms. My yes got a high five.
Everytime? She asked. My yes got a hooray.
I�m a good little girl who gets sex. And is sick. Very sick.
My lower back hurts where my kidneys are panicking at the infection. I�ve had just a super day.
I spent a lot of time last night crying at rumor and speculation about the fate of one of my friendships. I�m not sure she would have liked my reaction. I think I blamed Rich and her and Chris. I was a hyperventilating mess, and kept asking the same thing. If she leaves, I won�t have anyone, will I? Chris lives two hundred miles away, She�ll live 3000. It�s one of those things that when you�re bawling you take out on yourself.
Why does everyone want to be far away from me?
I won�t have anyone; I will be alone, because I don�t see who could be that person for me anymore.
I can�t fight against her decisions though. Life is life and fucked up shit that makes you cry� well it happens. Start dealing even if you never start healing.
Now if only I didn�t sound like an after school special.
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