9:44 pm - Tuesday, Dec. 10, 2002
Song:
�Late at night, I call my long-
distance lover and proudly say
I only used fifty-nine today.
I saved the rest for you.
When she doesn�t respond, I know
she�s used up all her words,
so I slowly whisper I love you,
thirty-two and a third times.
After that, we sit on the line
and listen to each other breath.�
My fear is throwing my words too carelessly, and I hardly wonder what will happen when I simply run out of them. How will the boy know what he needs to, but to save his words and speak for me. I send my mind to him on the wire and hope he�s getting the message. I love you, I love you, I love you.
These are the words I have for him, and my little mind beats them hard through my lips to his when we kiss, and through my touch. I feel little walls between and interrupt transfer. The natural firewalls. We�re fate you see, it must be. I�ll find little signs of it so he might never give up on me because I�m no good at the transfers.
Hell, Tori Amos wrote the foreword to my favorite poetry book, and baby you love her words like I love words, though I haven�t even a tad affinity for hers. Can�t you see our connections? We�re kindred.
I�m making mistakes, but not to him. Not nothing wrong, am I doing it wrong? He says we�re fine, right, because I�m on the mind train that we are.
Things are perfect and I�m scared.
People fall in love around me and I wildly believe in it.