9:44 pm - Sunday, Nov. 24, 2002
Song:
It feels strange to go to the movies and pull the arm rests down on either side of me. Not going to cuddle against the person next to me, or smell his neck, because he�s my brother and not Chris. That�s all right, really. There is life besides Chris.
Spent the weekend with my family at the beach and thought of Chris less then usual on trips. Not an evil. Now I can enjoy myself without him as well. About time I suppose.
I walked on the beach after dark though, and wished he were there. It�s November and to my amazement an Oregon coast was in a good mood. There wasn�t a rough beating wind, but as occasional breeze. It�s warm. So unusual.
Where was my boy to hold my hand, to watch as I danced around and sang diamonds on the soles of her shoes. To laugh when I jumped on him, or to sit and talk with me. He wasn�t. But I�m getting used to it some.
It�s been so long since I�ve been more than a week without him. But it�s only three days I need to make it through before I can have the joy of him waking me and kissing me. I�m losing that which I was getting used to. Thank god.
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