12:01 pm - Saturday, Nov. 16, 2002
Song:
Sitting on the couch under a blanket watching Leave It To Beaver. There�s something good about that, and I can�t place it. It� s just one of those feelings. Commercials came on and I sat and wondered about the feeling. It�s one of those; I want this moment to last for eternity type feelings. It�s come over me so many times lately. How can it be I face so many perfect, I want this forever moments, and yet everything looks so bleak and down to me.
I remember morning flag at Outdoor School and staring off into space. Taking in the sun filtering sporadically through the trees and the freezing air that bit my nose. Salute one, and I lift my hand to my heart. Salute two, lower it again. All these little kids, half awake and actually excited about that they would learn that day. Moment number one.
I remember riding in the backseat of the car. It was heated well and my hangover was subsiding a bit. I remember Chris and his brother talking. I watched the clock, kept wishing we had another hour left when I knew it was only 20 minutes until my home. I just liked so much to be there with them. Moment number two.
I remember lying on the couch in Bugsy and Lita�s apartment, my head on Chris� chest. Watching him play Kingdom Hearts. I felt I�d finally found the perfect way to lean against him. To be close to him. It felt like living with him, his wife or fianc�e or live in girlfriend. That was me. Moment number three.
Now I�m wishing for more moments. To choose a time and live through it again and again. It�s not fair I ever have to leave them. I�ll sit on my roof, under the awning, and drink tea, marveling at how close I am to being part of the rainstorm.
previous : next