7:29 am - Tuesday, Nov. 05, 2002
Song:
I don't know when I realized the difference, but I think it just suddenly happened. I don't fight with Chris everyday. We hardly ever argue, and when we do, we can still sit with each other, I can lay my head on his chest, and talk to him about it from there. He�s different than Adam in everyway.
I feel like I�m in pain, my stomach hurts, I want to cry, all because he doesn�t hold me the second I want him.
I miss him so entirely. I met his family, and all I wanted was to be the next girl married into that family. Both his cousin and his brother have their little fianc�es.
I want us to live together. I picture it. I want to make spaghetti with him, and push myself into those arms whenever I need it.
I like how he smells and how he pulls me onto his lap, and how extremely warm he is. I like how he always tries to predict my actions, and the look on his face when it turns out he�s wrong. I love the may he holds my hand, and all the little kisses he slips me.
I�m dieing from not hearing his voice in 6 hours and not pushing his hair out of his face in what feels like forever. I love when he looks into my eyes, and his little smiles where is top teeth sort of rest on his bottom lip in the smallest amount.
I�m making myself hurt even more. And I wish I could thank him properly for everything he is, and everything he�s done, for me.