8:24 am - Saturday, Oct. 19, 2002
Song:
Waking up far too early, I returned to what I felt was fun as a child. Lying on my bed, I draw in the condensation on my window. I like the way the street lights shine in to project my pieces on the curtains. I draw the usual things, people, the sun, squiggly lines and my name. The only time I usually do this anymore is in the shower on the glass doors.
There�s a lot to be said for childhood. I like it back then, good memories. I keep looking back, hoping that I learned something back then to help me through everything now, but somehow I haven�t. But there�s so much good, I don�t scorn you.
Somehow it�s this montage of snowy days, tennis at school, talking during math class, borrowing the teachers rice crispy treats.
There are four different best friend necklaces in my jewelry box. I have �best� of all of them. I feel more like I am praising the other person, the �friend�, rather than a part of something.
Two of those necklaces are between Janelle and I, a monkey and a butterfly, one between Rahnia and I, Hello Kitty, and one between Melissa and I. A half a broken heart.
Melissa was my best friend from 3rd grade to 6th. Then middle school got to be too much, and contact was too infrequent on both ends and we just didn�t talk anymore. I saw her at the mall not long ago, besides uncomfortable hello�s, there�s nothing there.
She was great though. We did everything together, had the hugest arguments, and even stopped talking for two months. Actually, an argument just like the one Rahnia and I are having currently. Not the subject matter, but the way we�re dealing with it. I want to deal with it better.
The best thing I learned in 5th grade: being without a best friend for a matter of months, yet wanting to still be friends, it sucks. It�s just not worth it.
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