11:20 pm - Tuesday, Oct. 08, 2002
Song:
I don�t want him to be in love with someone else. To love them more than he ever loved me. I don�t care that I love someone else more then I ever loved him. I loved him first, and that�s what�s tying me here.
Why am I second-guessing a choice I was so sure of when I made it? I�m in love, and suddenly that�s not good enough.
I�m trying not to think, but it�s coming. What would we have been if we stayed together? What if he had dated Rahnia first and than me?
It�s not going to be like this no matter how many times I think it through. I want to throw my self on Chris and weep. I love the feel of arms around me when I cry.
I�m not sure if I want to cry for past love, or for my current love I am currently alienating. I just know that I need to cry, and he loves me.
He�ll never know just how much I love him.
I�m not sure I want him to, because when he learns it, that means it�s becoming less, at least in y mind, or he�d never catch up to it.
Hold me and shove yourself inside me, because yet again it�ll hurt on the way in, but I�d much rather be your whore then ever Adam�s girlfriend again.
Or make love to me, because the way you cry when you think I don�t know shatters my heart. Kiss my tears and I�ll yours.