4:49 pm - Monday, Sept. 23, 2002
Song:
John Mayer and Kelsi, it's an afternoon worth mentioning. Frustration with friends, and none of it is on my end. It�s a reliving prospect.
Three thoughts spread throughout my mind today.
1) Should I take Senior English this year and graduate in May, a year early?
2) Should I miss a week of school in May and go to Hawaii with Chris?
3) Why is there no one to make-out with right now?
As for the first, I�m seriously contemplating such a prospect. The thought of leaving high school, which I�m growing to despise, seems deliciously tempting. I love the social aspects, but I am tortured by the monotony and busy work that is the classes. It would be so easy, yet not. I could start college next fall... while my good friends start senior year. Sure, I�d be learning, I could take real writing classes, and they can get ready for prom.
I�m torn between dances and academics. Told my mom already my evening would be spent researching options for those who no longer want to go to high school.
I�ve heard the, you�ll regret not going to prom and graduating with your friends and the you�ll regret that you didn�t just go for it and graduate this year. If I�m going to regret it either way, then how can I do this?
I�ll be able to live with Chris a year earlier if I go off to college.
Now for the second on my list of contemplations: Taking a week off school in May. It�s not the brightest thing to do, because I may have to spend the rest of the school year playing catch-up... but then again... it�s Hawaii. With Chris. And my mom thinks it�s a fine idea as long as I pay for it myself, and it would only cost $400. That�s such an amazing deal.
Now, number three, that�s the least important or dramatic of them all, but it plagued my mind for a long time. Running the tip of my tongue across the top of my mouth, I need boys. I hate distance; I despise it like none other. Yet he�s gone and I refuse to accept what I can�t change, because I like so much to have control over things.
I�m ready for a change, and I�m only one credit away from the freedom I�ve been begging for.
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