4:03 pm - Thursday, Sept. 12, 2002
Song:
Written during math:
Tell me why I�m dieing without you.
Explain why I keep torturing myself thinking of you and talking to you.
I can�t pay attention in class.
I can�t bring myself to smile, because that makes me feel fake.
I hardly forget, and when I do, it�s not for long�
I�m looking for relief, not finding it, and letting that tear me apart
I�ve never felt this before.
Adam said to me during math today, �Stop worrying about other people, and do what you need to make Megan happy� and it was from this I realized what I needed to do for me. Starting with telling Kai I can�t start a new relationship now. Then when searching through my purse I found some more of the bracelets I made while in Maryland over spring break. Two of which say Chris. I may have taken off my ring, because it brands me as the girlfriend I no longer am, but I will wear his name on my wrist. I want to, and I don�t care how it looks.
I am still very much in love with him. How could I not be? He makes me smile, he�ll be strong for me when I need him to be, his voice puts me at ease, and a thousand other things that make me cry to lose. I can�t be with anyone right now� my heart is breaking; yet I�m staying in love. I�m thinking of the boy who stays on my wrist.
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