11:23 pm - Sunday, Jul. 21, 2002
Song:
I feel like I'm dieing.Everytime he leaves I'm reminded that he's not mine. He's no my possession and I have no hold on him. And I'll spend the night drenching myself in tears and never come to any decision as to what in the hell is happening to me.
I'm not supposed to get this way over guys.
I can't understand my own feelings. He can no longer read my mind. I feel our bond slipping away. Why am I the only one who ever feels bad? Why am I the downer?
How can he be so sure of everything all the time?
I want sleep. I want to collapse. I want syrupy sodas and major caffine rushes.
I want to crawl on someones lap. Have them listen to me cry and stroke my hair. I need human contact and to be treated like the child I am.