7:06 am - Tuesday, Jul. 16, 2002
Song:
Thinking about about past friends. Or current friends. Or having no friends. It's enough to make you smile, and cry and be depressed all at the same time.
Rahnia randomly appered at my house yesterday, I had just woke up.
It seems anymore i've just woken up, I'm just about to go to bed or I must quick go to drivers ed. Somewhere in there I eat and do homework and frequent DiaryLand hoping for some sort of update, though it frequently doesn't appear.
I'm about as anti-social as I come right now. I just don't have the energy to go do anything with anyone, and when I feel like doing something, I have no way to get a hold of anyone.
I would take my little camera and go enjoy myself, but I've photographed most anything withn walking or short bus ride distance. I'm begining to feel that if I don't get a car with which to leave and say... drive up Mt. Hood very soon then I may just go insane.
Rahnia came and we talked, and it was nice. I haven't had very much contact with her lately. I like spending the night there... but I feel odd because of Marcia. And I'd like he to spend the night here... but once again...
I wish rahnia would tell me things. I'm all for listening, it means I don't have to talk, but she refuses to just open herself up until I lose intrest in trying, and then she says I never listen, or I'm never there to talk to.
Which is completely untrue. I'm always here. Call me... come over... email me and demand I get on AIM. Don't claim it's just too hard to get a hold of me. It's not like I wont get off the phone with Chris for you, I'd get off with him for most anyone, because I talk to him all the time.
Rahnia barely told me what was going on with her. She watched me wash the dishes. Afterwards I drove her (and my parent passenger) to Fred Meyer's so that Rahnia may get bread, I may get soda, and my mother may get salad.
Then I basically just drove around trying to try differant things because I'm sure I still need 40 of 50 hours or some fool thing. Finnaly I drove Rahnia home and four blocks later I was home.
Four minutes later she was back again. She has no internet connection and since our computers are life support for us anymore, she needed a recharge. Which meant cutting me off. I was on the verge of serious spasms and withdrawl symptons when my mom offered us dinner.
Afterwards Rahnia made me walk her home. And stay awhile. Which mostly I wouldn't mind, but I am so tired lately. I only had two hours until I had to sleep and I had homework to do until then.
I'm completely anti-social but it's only because I have to wake up at 6:30, sit in a class room from 8-10:20, drive for and hour and simulate for an hour, then come home, which takes another hour, do chores, do homework, and say night to my boyfriend before I fall asleep.