6:00 pm - Tuesday, May. 21, 2002
Song:
Song: Somewhere In Between - Lifehouse
I feel terrible. I really want to sleep, but I have huge ammounts of homework. Thoughts of that bounce in my mind and keep me from sleep. So I am sitting here avoiding doing anything productive and wondering if there's anything ultimately important for me to do tomorrow, because I feel like shit, and I may just stay home and actually go to the doctor. Unfortunatly I know I have a speech and two tests and it's the end of the year. When would I have the time to make all that up.
I'm not sure whats going on between Chris and I. It feels as if we reach a place where I feel comfortable and them soemthing happens and I have to reconsider that whole thing. I love him so much though.
During spanish today we were willing in the imperfect past-tense verbs and the discription was of a church and a wedding. The whole wedding thing brought thoughts to me that I've been trying to avoid.
I started thinking about how much I would like to spend my life with Chris. How he makes me more happy then I have been before. I just sit there and smile when I'm talking to him.
I don't want to consider marriage. I'm too young, too indecisive, too restless and much too easily scared. Yet I am. It's something I can't help.
It'll come along someday. Maybe him, more likely not. someday... why can't I stop thinking of it now?
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