10:08 pm - Saturday, Apr. 13, 2002
Song:
It was pouring down rain when i got of the bus... and I kept thinking about what happend today... and I had to run... and I had to get home...
When I started running is when i started crying... I useually despise running, especially uphill....
When Rahnia and I woke up... we got online and checked everything out and then decided to watch 'SLC Punk'... after this I needed to get out and do something... so we left...
We walked to Powell and caught the nine at the stop right above Cleveland... we went downtoen where we got on the Max and headed to Lloyd... we showed up at adams work to bug him...
After that we went to the mall... and in all truth... I don't remember what stores we went to... except that we spent like, 30 minutes in Hot Topic... I got to flirt with the guy who works there (he asked me if I liked his gangsta walk (gangsta walk) and if I liked his gangsta talk (gangsta talk)and then he had to answer the phone before he could ask if I liked his handsome face (handsome face)... he was too into Ludacris)... we wandered more and I looked for the purse I want for my birthday...
This is when she wanted to know what my problem was with her and Adam... and although I tried to avoid an answer for a while... finnaly I had to tell her... and no... I'm not over him...
She wanted to know how chris felt about this... i didn't know...
When Chris came into the conversation... oh no... I am so confused about that right now... he's so far away and I'm not sure I want to do this long distance things... but i seriously love him... I just don't know I can do this much longer...
On the bus back I said to Rahnia, "Why did I start something with him when I knew I was going to be bothred by the distance?"
She paused for a while, before saying "Why did I start something when I knew I would get hurt?"
"Thats not an answer, i need an answer"
She offerd me this: "Because you love him..."
I do... I really, really do... but at this point.. the distance is weighing on me like none other...
When I got off the bus it was pouring down rain...
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