12:02 am - Monday, Dec. 24, 2001
Song:
I hate drugs. I really, really hate them. My father smokes pot. My whole family on that side does, plus like tons of other kinds of drugs. They all fuck up their lives on a regular basis, and I dunno, how else am I supposed to connect things. Drugs fuck up your life.
Kevin smokes pot. It�s not like he tells me all about it, but it bothers me. I�m so against drugs, because they fuck up your life, and now that I�m an actual part of his life (I hope) I feel strange dealing with yet another person who�s like that. My whole family�s not enough. Look who I love, look where I stick myself. I started talking to wonderful chris about this today on msn:
chris says:
well... nothing can be perfect...
Megan says:
No
Megan says:
I know to much imperfection to look for perfection
MegaN says:
I hate drugs
chris says:
me too..
chris says:
i don't date anyone that does drugs... and even cigarettes... those are borderline
Megan says:
yeah... Kevin smokes pot. It seriously bothers me
Megan says:
I'm not sure how to deal
chris says:
hmmm... i mean... you can't go into a relationship aiming to change him...
chris says:
i guess... just try to limit him...
chris says:
make sure he doesn't put it before you... ya know?
Megan says:
I know, I'm not trying to change him, i know I have no chance
chris says:
yea
Megan says:
Thats where he would choose it over me, I know he would
chris says:
that sucks
And it�s true, he would choose drugs over me. There is no way I could change him, and I�m not going to try, because I love him and don�t want to be without him. There no point in trying to change something I will never have any control over. I hope it doesn�t have a chance to come between us. But I don�t know, I�m pretty sure they mean a lot to him. Plus his brother is living with him again, and they smoke together, so that just encourages him. I don�t know. I worry excessively. I really hate drugs.